123 Funny Valentines Quotes to Laugh through Love - Bespoke Gifts (2024)

To express our feelings for those we care about, funny Valentines quotes can help, whether it be through gifts, cards, or simply spending quality time together. However, not everyone is a fan of this holiday. For some, Valentine’s Day can be a reminder of their single status or a source of pressure to find the perfect gift or date. But fear not, because we have compiled a list of quotes that will make you laugh and forget all your worries about this holiday.

Funny Quotes about Valentine’s Day for Singles

Being single on Valentine’s Day can feel like being the only one without a date to the prom. But stop feeling sorry for yourself, because Bespokegifts’ quotes here will help you to embrace your single status and have a good laugh.

• Who needs a Valentine when you can have chocolate? It never disappoints or breaks your heart!
• Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m single and my wallet’s happy too!
• Celebrating Valentine’s Day with my true loves: pizza and Netflix.
• Roses are overrated, and so is being in a relationship. I’m happily single and ready to mingle with my own thoughts.
• Why have a Valentine when you can have a valen-fine time by yourself?
• Who needs a date when you can have a plate full of your favorite food?
• Valentine’s Day plans: treating myself to a spa day because self-love is the best love!
• Love is in the air, but so is oxygen – and that’s more important.

• Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m single, and my bank account’s thanking me too!
• Valentine’s Day checklist: Self-love, laughter, and chocolate. No partner required.
• Why worry about a Valentine when you can have a galentine, a palentine, or just some peace and quiet?
• I’m single and ready to mingle… with my bed and a good book tonight!
• Valentine’s Day is just another day for me to show myself some extra love and kindness.
• Who needs a significant other when you can have significant chocolate quantities?
• Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m single, and honestly, it’s pretty great too!
• Celebrating Valentine’s Day the single way: No drama, just pajamas!
• This Valentine’s Day, I’m treating myself like the royalty I am – chocolate and all!
• Why stress about finding a Valentine when I can just be my own heartthrob?
• Who needs a date when you can have a mate… with your favorite TV show?
• Valentine’s Day is just a reminder that I’m romantically involved with my freedom and happiness.

• I’m single and ready to mingle… with my pet. They’ve got my heart, fur real.
• Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m single, and my to-do list is too long for two!
• Valentine’s Day is just an excuse for me to have an extra serving of ice cream – because of self-love.
• No Valentine? No problem. I’ve got my own back, and that’s the best support system!
• Who needs a Valentine when you can have a self-date? Candlelit dinner for one, please!

Love sayings can also express the language of love in their funny style. And, so do you! Say your self-love out loud humorously!

Cute and Funny Valentine Quotes

Then is the perfect opportunity for that whether you’re trying to impress your crush or just want to make your partner giggle, here are some funny Valentines quotes with pick-up lines that will surely do the trick.

• Hey, are you a Wi-Fi signal? Because I’m feeling a strong connection this Valentine’s Day.
• Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you – or maybe it was clumsiness, either way, I’m into it.

• If beauty were time, you’d be an eternity. Lucky for me, I’ve got all the time in the world this Valentine’s Day.
• Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears – just like my plans for a solo Valentine’s Day.
• Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got “FINE” written all over you, and I’m ready to pay the price.
• Is your name Google? Because you’ve got everything I’ve been searching for this Valentine’s Day.
• Please excuse my interruption, but I believe you dropped something: MY JAW! Valentine’s Day just got a whole lot better.
• Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you’re Cu-Te, and I’m pretty sure that’s the periodic table’s way of saying you’re adorable.
• Are you tanned, or are you always this hot? Either way, let’s make this Valentine’s Day sizzle.
• Are you a camera? Because I can’t stop smiling whenever I see you. It’s like you’ve got a permanent filter on my heart.

• Excuse me, but I believe you owe me a drink. When I looked at you, I dropped mine in amazement.
• Are you a bank loan? Because you have my interest, and I’m willing to take the risk this Valentine’s Day.
• Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because heaven is missing one angel, and I’m willing to be your Valentine to make up for it.
• Are you a time traveler? Because I can’t imagine my future without you in it this Valentine’s Day.
• Please excuse me, but I believe you owe me a map. Because I just got lost in your gaze – and that’s fine with me.
• Are you a cat? Because you just purred your way into my heart this Valentine’s Day.
• Do you have a sunburn, or are you always this glowing? In either case, you’re brighter than any star in my sky.
• You’d be a cute-cumber if you were a vegetable. Let’s make this Valentine’s Day a love salad.
• Are you a firework? Because you’re lighting up my night, and I want a front-row seat to the show.

• Excuse me, but I think you owe me a conversation. I couldn’t help but overhear your charm, and now I’m hooked.
• Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got “FINE” written all over you, and I’m ready to pay the price.
• Are you a bank loan? You’ve got my interest; let’s invest time this Valentine’s Day.
• Are you a keyboard? Because you’re just my type, and I’m ready to hit the “Enter” key on our Valentine’s Day plans.
• Are you a campfire? Because you’re hot, and I want s’more of your company this Valentine’s Day.
• If beauty were time, you’d be eternity. Lucky for me, I’ve got time for someone as stunning as you this Valentine’s Day.

Funny Valentine Quotes About Chocolate

Chocolate may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but when it comes to humorous I love you sayings, it can be quite entertaining. Here are some funny Valentines quotes that will make you chuckle on this holiday of love.

• Chocolate is like a secret agent in my life – it always brings joy, and I never know where it disappears!

• I’m on a strict chocolate diet – I see it, and I eat it!
• If chocolate were a currency, I’d be a billionaire by now!
• Life is like a box of chocolates – delightful, surprising, and gone before you know it!
• They say laughter is the best medicine, but they clearly haven’t tried chocolate!
• I believe in love at first bite – especially when it comes to chocolate.
• Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions; chocolate understands.
• Why do I love chocolate? It’s the only thing that can sweeten a Monday morning.
• If you’re not supposed to eat midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge? Asking for my chocolate.
• I’m not a chocoholic; I’m a chocolate enthusiast with a sweet tooth PhD.
• You know you’re a true adult when your chocolate stash is better hidden than your childhood secrets.
• My superpower? Turning chocolate into smiles.

• Chocolate is my love language – no translation needed.
• They say diamonds are a girl’s best friend, but they clearly haven’t met chocolate.
• I’m not saying I have a chocolate addiction, but I did just name my Wi-Fi ‘choco-holic hideout.’
• Chocolate doesn’t judge; it just melts in your mouth and understands.
• I’ve never met a chocolate I didn’t like – and I’ve met a lot of chocolates.
• Stressed spelled backward is desserts. Coincidence? I think not. Pass the chocolate.
• They say time heals all wounds, but I believe chocolate does it faster.
• I don’t have a chocolate addiction; it’s simply a committed relationship between us.
• Chocolate is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy – and probably a little bit chubby.
• I’m not a scientist, but I’m pretty sure chocolate is the cure for everything.
• A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands.
• Roses have a red hue, violets are in the blue, sweetness in chocolate is true, just like you.
• Life happens, chocolate helps.

Funny Movies Quotes about Valentine’s Day

Movies are a great source of entertainment, and they also provide us with some memorable funny Valentine messages that we can use in our everyday lives. And listed here are some of these.

• “Love is never having to apologize… unless you forget Valentine’s Day.” The hardest word, then, appears to be sorry.” – Love Story
• “Just a gal, positioned before a guy, requesting affection… and perhaps a detour to grab some flowers on the journey home.” – Notting Hill
• “To me, you are perfect…ly capable of sharing the blanket this Valentine’s Day.” – Love Actually
• “It’s like life is a box of chocolates.” You never know what you’re going to get… except on Valentine’s Day, when it’s almost certainly chocolate.” Forrest Gump
• “You had me at hello… but a box of chocolates sealed the deal.” Jerry Maguire
• “I feel the need… the need for love and chocolate.” – Top Gun

• “May the Force be with you… in finding the perfect Valentine’s Day gift.” – Star Wars
• “Here’s looking at you, kid… and hoping you remembered it’s Valentine’s Day.” Casablanca
• “I’ll be back… with flowers and a cheesy Valentine’s Day card.” – The Terminator
• “I am the world’s ruler!”… and you’re the Valentine’s Day queen in my heart.” – Titanic
• “No location compares to home… particularly when home is wherever you are on Valentine’s Day.” – The Wizard of Oz
• “Just a gal, standing before a guy, hoping for some love… or at the very least, to split the final slice of pizza.” – Notting Hill
• “You might struggle with the reality… that I overlooked the impending arrival of Valentine’s Day. My apologies!” – A Few Good Men
• “Go ahead, make my day… by not forgetting Valentine’s Day this year.” – Sudden Impact
• “Houston, we have a problem… if you don’t have a Valentine’s Day gift yet.” – Apollo 13

• “Keep your friends close, but your Valentine closer.” – The Godfather
• “There’s no crying in baseball… but there might be if you forget Valentine’s Day.” – A League of Their Own
• “I spot departed individuals… who neglected Valentine’s Day shopping.” – The Sixth Sense
• “This is Johnny!”… for Valentine’s Day, with a package of chocolates and flowers.” – The Shining
• “Are you talking to me?”… about our plans on Valentine’s Day?” – Taxi Driver
• “May the odds be ever in your favor… of finding the perfect Valentine’s Day present.” – The Hunger Games
• “You can’t bear the truth… that I adore you more than chocolate.” Perhaps not more than chocolate.” – A Few Good Men
• “You complete me… and also this Valentine’s Day card with a terrible pun.” Jerry Maguire
• “The stuff that dreams are made of… includes chocolate on Valentine’s Day.” The Maltese Falcon
• “My love for you extends to infinity and beyond.” “Merry Valentine’s Day!” – Toy Story

Anti Valentine Quotes Funny

Not everyone is a fan of Valentine’s Day, and that’s okay. If you’re not in the mood for all the lovey-dovey stuff, here are some funny Valentines quotes that will cater to your quirky anti-Valentine’s vibes.

• Roses are red, violets are blue, Valentine’s is cheesy, and so are these rhymes – just like my love life.
• Why celebrate Valentine’s when every day is ‘Single Awareness Day’ for me?
• Who needs a Valentine when you’ve got a fridge full of leftovers and a cozy blanket?
• Valentine’s Day plans: ordering heart-shaped pizza for one and watching horror movies. Love is scary, right?
• Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so is avoiding all the lovey-dovey stuff.
• Celebrating Valentine’s Day by giving my wallet a break. Single and financially stable – who’s the real winner here?
• Love is in the air, and so are my eye rolls. Happy Singles Awareness Day!

• Valentine’s Day? More like ‘Another Excuse for Discounted Chocolates Day.’
• Who needs a soulmate when you can have a bowl of guacamole? Avocado is my one true love.
• Valentine’s Day is just a reminder that my cat loves me more than most humans do. And I’m okay with that.
• Love is patient, love is kind – but today, I’m neither. Happy Anti-Valentine’s Day!
• Celebrating Valentine’s Day by treating myself to some peace, quiet, and absolutely no relationship drama.
• Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m single and drama-free, and that’s the way it should be.
• Valentine’s Day is just a conspiracy to sell heart-shaped merchandise. I’m not falling for it.
• Who needs a date when you can have a plate of nachos and a good book? That’s my kind of romance.
• Love is like a rollercoaster – I’d rather not ride it. Happy Anti-Valentine’s Day!
• Valentine’s Day plans: boycotting romance and embracing the joy of solo adventures.

• Roses are red, violets are blue, love is overrated, and so is the pressure to conform on Valentine’s too.
• Valentine’s Day is just a reminder to appreciate the true love in my life: my bed and a good night’s sleep.
• Why celebrate Valentine’s when every day is an opportunity to love yourself a little more?
• Valentine’s Day is just a conspiracy by greeting card companies to make us all feel bad. I see through the marketing!
• Who needs a significant other when you have a significant amount of snacks and a Netflix subscription?
• Love is grand, but have you tried a night of uninterrupted sleep? Now that’s true bliss.

Conclusion

Valentine’s Day may be a holiday focused on love and romance, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have a good laugh about it. These 123 funny Valentines quotes show us that there’s always a humorous side to every situation, even when it comes to matters of the heart. Just smile and love as much as you can!