Liz Trader · Follow
4 min read · Jan 23, 2017
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Dear Little Sister,
I think it’s time we sat the record straight. There are few things that you should know and that we should probably get cleared up. 31 years ago and a few months I got the great honor of becoming your big sister, at 4 years old that’s not exactly the kind of treat you’re looking for. I was going to have to share my toys, and my room, and my parents, and grandparents, and…well you get the idea. I’m not sure I remember a whole lot about the day you were born, but I’m sure I was probably at least a little excited about the idea of a “baby”; I mean doesn’t every 4 year old girl want a real life baby doll. Anyhow, I know growing up we weren’t all that close and I’m sure I was a real jerk for a big sister. In fact, I specifically remember how mean I used to be to you. I remember the time that I opened my collector Barbie’s, washed their hair in the bath tub, and then proceeded to tell our parents that you did it, not that they believed me but you were like 3 so I figured you’d be in a lot less trouble than I would and I really wanted to see what they looked like outside their box. I also remember the time I told you Santa wasn’t….well you know where I’m going with that. I got in a lot of trouble for that. Basically I was the best big sister anyone could have asked for.
I also know that we never really got the opportunity to grow up together. I left when you were 4 and we still hated each other. Things happened outside of our control; I guess really outside of everyone’s and that was just life. I do remember how much I wished I had a little sister when I was in high school, you know you see on the movies where the little sister always covers for the big one, well I didn’t have an alibi so basically if something went wrong I got to take all the blame. I remember thinking it would be really cool to share secrets and jokes with someone who had to love me because it wasn’t an option. And I remember how excited I was when I got to move back to Springfield to go to college. I wanted to the coolest big sister ever and I wanted nothing more for you to want to be like me.
But forming a bond with a 14 year old wasn’t and easy feat and I wasn’t home enough to really figure it out. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t the best big sister in the world, I’m sorry I made questionable decisions, and I’m sorry if you ever wondered how much I loved you. The truth is I was scared of letting you down, and even more afraid of letting myself down. I know we had some rough patches but I’m grateful we did; I know that looking back the things I thought were interfering with our ability to form a relationship actually made us stronger.
But here’s the thing, you are an incredible sister. Not just that though you are a complete and utter bad-ass! Over the last 13 years I’ve learned that not ever unbreakable sibling bond begins at birth. Since the day you became and aunt to my daughter you became my best friend. You have given me 3 incredible little people to love, one that acts more like me than any of us should probably admit. An unbelievable support system, my biggest cheerleader, and the coolest aunt any kids could ask for. I watch you so selflessly take care of so many people other than yourself. I’ve watched you get your heartbroken by people who take advantage of your kindness and when I know I would have thrown in the towel you put yourself out there and do it again. I’m so proud to call you my sister. You inspire me to love more, and forgive often.
The last 18 months have been a roller coaster. We’ve both managed to make it but I for one know I couldn’t have done it without you. There’s been lots of tears, anger, ups, and downs but we’ve stuck with each other (and tequila) through all of the emotions. I’m so lucky that there’s always been you, even when I didn’t need you, I know you’ve always been there.
So little sister, just remember this. I love you, no strings attached. I’m grateful for our journey, for all memories we’ve already had and all those we have yet to create. You are incredible, smart, funny, and inspiring. My life would be incomplete without you in it. And it’s really easy to see why you’ll always be Mom and Dad’s favorite; cuz you’re my favorite too.
With love,
Your mouthy-know-it-all older sister
Insights, advice, suggestions, feedback and comments from experts
As an expert in sibling dynamics and relationships, I can confidently say that the letter written by Liz Trader demonstrates a deep understanding of the complexities that can exist between siblings. The letter serves as a heartfelt apology and a declaration of love for her younger sister.
Trader begins by acknowledging the challenges she faced when her sister was born, highlighting the difficulties of sharing her toys, room, and parents. She admits to being mean and recalls specific instances where she took advantage of her sister's innocence. However, she also expresses a desire to have a close bond with her sister, longing for the kind of relationship where secrets and jokes are shared freely.
Despite their initial struggles and the physical separation they experienced, Trader recognizes the strength that grew from their rough patches. She praises her sister for being an incredible sibling and a "bad-ass," mentioning her role as an aunt and the support she has provided. Trader admires her sister's selflessness, resilience, and ability to love and forgive.
Acknowledging the roller coaster of emotions they have experienced over the past 18 months, Trader expresses gratitude for her sister's unwavering support. She emphasizes the importance of their bond and assures her sister of her unconditional love. Trader recognizes her sister's qualities of intelligence, humor, and inspiration, and declares that her life would be incomplete without her.
In conclusion, Liz Trader's letter is a testament to the growth and transformation of a sibling relationship. It demonstrates the power of forgiveness, understanding, and unconditional love.
