“You as much as anybody in the entire Universe, deserve your love and affection.” Buddha
Loving and accepting ourselves for who we are is the greatest gift that we can give to ourselves.
The first step to self-love is to forgive ourselves for our past failures, judgements and mistakes, and to leave the past behind. After all, if you had known better, you would have done better. It takes courage to let go and to open ourselves up to receive self-love.
You are the only person who will spend every minute of every day for the rest of your life with you; so it is time to make yourself your number one priority. Yet how many of us do it? How many of us are so focused on giving love away to our partners, children, parents, pets, friends that we forget to give it to ourselves?
Why do we do this?
Quite simply because many of us have been raised with the belief that to love oneself is arrogance and to put ourselves first is selfish; or maybe we have been taught that love needs to be earned so we have spent a lifetime trying to earn love, approval and acceptance from those around us.
The most important law of the Universe is love and that love starts within you and for you. It is at the very core of your being. You were destined to be that way, a magnificent miracle; worthy of love and that love starts with self-love.
You have a choice whether to allow it to shine through and radiate it out or to slowly extinguish the flame within. Choose to love and accept yourself unconditionally; to accept yourself just as you are, with all your imperfections and flaws, as it is these imperfections and flaws that make you the beautifully unique, lovable, good enough adult that you are.
And consider this, whenever you find yourself not loving and embracing who you are; Japanese pottery can teach you so much about feeling flawed. In Japan, broken objects are repaired with gold. The flaw is seen as a unique part of the object’s history which adds and amplifies its beauty. Your flaws are the gold that makes you perfect, whole and complete.
It is only by moving closer to complete love for who you are in this moment that you can move closer to a life of joy and freedom.
You are valuable.
You are extraordinary.
You are perfect just as you are. You always have been and you always will be.
So how do we show love for ourselves?
It begins with kindness and compassion for oneself. Being open to loving and accepting every single part of you without shame, blame or apology. Accept yourself for who you are not who you would like to be. When did you last say something nice to yourself when looking in the mirror? Or did you say something like ‘I’m too fat, I’m too thin, my legs are too short or my love handles are ugly?’
Now if you answered‘Yes’ to any of these or anything else negative for that matter, consider this. Would you say these same words to your parents, your children, your friends? Of course not, because if you did, they wouldn’t stay around you for very long so don’t say them to yourself either!
Be kind to you. Know that you are doing the best you can, with the body, the skills and the wisdom that you have at this moment. Celebrate, embrace, and cherish you, your uniqueness, your you-ness.
Another way to increase self-love is to give to yourself in a way that supports you.
Giving to oneself isn’t just about material gifts, although it can be; (over-giving on the physical level can indicate feelings of not being good enough – a need to fill a void within you; because when we don’t feel enough, we can never have enough). It’s about giving oneself the time to rest, to sleep, to eat well, to take the time to do what makes us feel healthy, happy, vibrant and alive.
Nurture and nourish yourself with good food, exercise, treat yourself to time out, days off, massages, a walk in nature, listening to music or maybe reading a book: whatever it is that makes you feel that you are taking care of your own needs.Allow yourself permission to feel good, to feel proud of who you are, to love the body that you are in; self-love is your superpower, and you can use this power to bring about such incredible transformation in your relationships, your health, your finances and your career.
Say ‘Yes’ to you, say ‘Yes’ to fulfilling your own needs and desires. Put yourself first, make yourself number 1 and remember that when you say ‘no’ to others you are saying ‘yes’ to yourself.Each time you put yourself first it will pay dividends for you and the ones you love. As they say on planes, ‘put your oxygen mask on before helping others’, the oxygen, the love is all around you. Sometimes you just need to be reminded to breathe.
Now, write down three things that you can do today to show yourself some love.
If you would like to take a closer look at where some of your beliefs might be keeping you stuck, holding you back or stopping you and you feel you deserve to live a fuller, more abundant life then drop me an email at angela@angelamercer.co.uk to book a Rapid Results coaching call now.
